How Does Procrastination Serve You?

procrastination servesWell that’s a ridiculous question you may be saying! I hate procrastinating! I want to stop, but I just cannot seem to stop! No matter what it is, I put it off for as long as possible, sometimes, never finishing it! IT DOESN’T SERVE ME. IT FRUSTRATES ME.

I understand that. Truly I do. Yet, for just a moment, stop judging yourself for procrastinating. Instead, open your mind and your heart and go within for some honest answers.

You see, there is a reason that you procrastinate and if you get to the root of why, then you can address that issue and find freedom. No one wants to sabotage his or her success knowingly.

However, subconsciously there may be a fear, or rebellion or resentment underneath the very thing you are resisting doing. So if you can identify what that reason is, then you can tap on the specific feelings with love, compassion and acceptance. This is what will free you from procrastination, not judging or criticizing yourself.

Think of the thing that you are procrastinating on now. Name it. What are you not starting or finishing?

Remember, no judgments, only compassion and honesty.

  1. What is the downside to beginning or finishing this project or task?
  2. What are you afraid will happen if you do finish it?
  3. What is the advantage to not completing it?

Once you answer these questions, we have some substance and a path to tapping.

So today, rather than tapping generally around procrastination, we are going to attack it head-on – the reason you really procrastinate – so that you can stop.

Join me for this episode of #TappyBreak to break free from procrastination.

4 Styles of Intuition Communication

Intuition John NaisbittIntuition is a powerful voice, yet often we are expecting it to be loud, obvious and bold and once you are truly tuned in to your own unique intuitive language, it may seem that way.

Yet when your intuition speaks to you, its often very subtle. Often you are not aware of its presence and guidance and the amazing support it offers you. Most people can relate to a gut feeling and will often comment on things after the fact. They say things like, “I know that was a mistake,” or “If I had only listened to my gut, I would have avoided this.” Conversely you may say things like “I have no idea why I canceled my flight, “ and then find out there were problems with it, and its a good thing I did cancel.”

There are many ways that your intuition communicates with you. The four styles of intuition communication are emotional, mental, physical and spiritual. In this post I will explain briefly each one. In posts to follow in this series, I will delve more deeply into each one.

PHYSICAL INTUITION

What does it actually mean or what is happening when you feel in your gut? Have you ever really tuned in, paid attention, and let it guide you? Your gut is related to your third chakra, power center, and where many people do connect with intuition.

Those who are physical intuitives will feel that. They tend to experience things through their body, through touch, and through nature. Physical intuitives will also feel other’s pain and discomfort physically They connect more easily to the life force in all living things, including plants, rocks, and animals.

As a healer, during sessions with my clients, whether tapping or doing energy healing through the chakras, my body often communicates with me to guide the sessions.

Here is an example. I was using EFT (tapping) with one of my clients. At some point, I felt my whole body relax and my back open up. When we stopped to check in, I asked her what let go? She smiled broadly and said, “As we were tapping I saw myself playing tennis…” Later in the session, my whole neck got very tense, so I asked my client what was wrong, when we paused tapping. She told me she remembered something that was upsetting, so we were able to address that issue. That is just one expression for physical intuitives.

If I had not been aware of this communication, I would have thought that stiff neck was my pain, rather than communication and guidance to help me work with my client for her highest good.

We will be exploring as well as practicing the full depth of physical intuition as well as the other intuitive styles during Develop Your Intuition Skills.

EMOTIONAL INTUITION

Emotional intuitives take on the emotions of others. I was speaking with a friend the other day and he told me he was not intuitive. The he shared this experience with me. He had read a post by someone whose posts he ready daily. One morning, nothing was different in her words, yet he felt that something was off. So he reached out and asked her if everything was ok. She was so surprised that he asked because it was not. That was his emotional intuition at work.

Many of my clients are emotional intuitives and it is my dominant style as well. Emotional intuitives work through their heart chakra. An emotional intuitive is like a large satellite that absorbs feelings wherever they go, and can be unsettling especially in large crowds. You may often feel like you are on an emotional rollercoaster ride and have no idea why. . It can be overwhelming being an emotional intuitive until you understand it and protect yourself. You will learn how to do that in during Develop Your Intuition Skills.

MENTAL INTUITION

Mental intuitives like systems and understanding. They thirst for knowledge, continual learning and expanding their minds. They usually love working with numbers and symbols. They receive messages and ideas telepathically from others.

Mental intuitives work from their third eye, or sixth chakra. Then tend see things clairvoyantly. They often know thing yet not sure how or why they know. You can learn more about developing your mental intuitive capacity to your best advantage in Develop Your Intuition Skills.

SPIRITUAL INTUITION

Finally the spiritual intuitive is usually the least grounded and merely tolerates being in the earthly realm since they crave freedom and openness. They have memories of perfection and have rich dream lives. Spiritual intuitives are able to live in the present more than any other intuitive type, but struggle with organization and time management. They work with angels and guides for their intuitive communication, guidance and strength.

Spiritual intuitives are more likely to see spirits or ghosts as well as communicate with them. They are tuned in through their crown chakra, and encourage us to explore our own spiritual knowing.

During Develop Your Intuition Skills, we will explore the full capacity of being a spiritual intuitive.

Intuition StylesAlthough everyone is able to access his or her intuition in all these styles, everyone has a dominant one. You can learn to tune into and strengthen your dominant intuitive language as well as cultivate all of them.

When you listen to the guidance of your intuition, you become more grounded, confident and peaceful. Life becomes more flow and ease. Your business flourishes when you integrate intuition with logic and strategy. You feel happier and less stressed. For many, you stop feeling overwhelmed; anxious or thinking you are crazy.

It’s time for us to awaken our intuition. Many have shut it down because it wasn’t safe, comfortable or encouraged as children. You may have been berated for seeing people no one else could or knowing things that you possibly could not know. You may have received negative feedback when expressing your intuition, and of course you didn’t know that’s what you were doing. You were just doing what was natural for you. But since you were not encouraged and in most case were discouraged, you felt alone, did not fit in and slowly shut down this part of yourself.

It is time to awaken and remember what you already know for your own highest good and that of the world.

Join me on this discovery and awakening – Develop Your Intuition Skills.

 

How To Quiet Your Monday Morning Quarterback Voice

monday morning quarterbackAt one time or another, we’ve all done something that with the hindsight of the Monday morning quarterback, you realize was so stupid, wasteful, unnecessary, fill in the blank ________________.

It’s so easy after the fact to see everything you could have done differently or avoided all together. Just like all the sports fans that love to comment on Sunday’s games with all their great advice and criticism after watching the game, we tend to do this to ourselves on a daily basis. Often it is so routine in our unspoken thoughts; we are not even aware or tuned into it.

For many years, no matter what I did, I automatically heard the words in my head that I could have done it better or worse, I shouldn’t have done that at all. Every meal I cooked, every post I wrote, every conversation I had, every little decision I made – or big or small my immediate reaction was comparison. It was exhausting.

Do you know what I mean? How often are you your own Monday morning quarterback?

I am not talking about regret exactly. Regret is much heavier, critical, and more impactful in keeping you stuck in creating the same mistakes again and again. If that’s the case for you, click here for the #TappyBreak on regret. 

What I am describing here is the nagging feeling that no matter what you’ve done, you could have, should have done it better.

It’s so easy in hindsight to look back and see more parts to the picture. It’s also easy to judge based on results. But even when things work out fine, you still feel this nagging sense of “not good enough.” Wouldn’t it be great to let that go?!

To just feel satisfied, pleased, and content with what you do. To bless it with good intentions before doing it, knowing you have done your best in the given situation and deciding to let it be enough.

Aah, freedom. So, let’s collectively choose this.

First let’s address the habit of what you are doing. In most cases, that’s all it is – a habit – a conditioned response that you have been doing for so long, you don’t even think about it.

Second, let’s explore when it started. What created this pattern in you in the first place?

Third, let’s clear the trigger, the emotion and the experiences that are attached to this conditioned response.

Lastly, we’ll create new a new systematic positive response where you choose how you want to feel and think more routinely.

That’s this week’s #TappyBreak. I hope you will join me to clear that resistant little voice that always pipes up with – “you could have done it better.”

How To Turn Your Sadness to Joy

it's ok to feel sadSadness. It’s probably not a topic you want brought to your awareness, especially if you are not actively feeling it. When it does attempt to get your attention, many try to squelch it when blues try to worm their way out. So you tuck it away, ignore it, do anything to avoid feeling your sadness.

What are your great tricks at camouflaging when the notes of sadness try to sing their song?

Why is it that you feel so uncomfortable with sadness? Even when it’s justified, so many people try to rush through it, not allowing themselves enough space or time to fully feel the full expression of their sadness or grief.

So many people are storing old sadness so deeply that they have no idea it exists or how it is keeping them from experiencing a fuller expression of joy. Although hidden, sadness is still there and occasionally may attempt its escape.

It is ok to feel sad, and even more ok to acknowledge it. 

Like all emotions, there is a message for you if you are willing to listen.

Perhaps your body cannot hold onto these old feelings anymore. Maybe your spirit is attempting to free you of a burden so you can manifest something you desire. Often when we ask for something, we are not prepared for how it come to us. Releasing buried emotions may be part of the answer.

You may be triggered by an event, something you hear or see. Your subconscious remembers even if you don’t. Feeling the sadness, naming it, and releasing it will remove the triggers.

Tapping allows for a healthy, non-invasive way to feel, name, and let go of the feelings that you try so hard to avoid, stamp on, and bury.

Today, let the gurgles of sadness make their way to your consciousness.

Make a list of times that you remember experiencing sadness. If you tune in, is there some remnant of sadness left?

What makes you sad?

What do you do when you feel sad?

Why do you avoid feeling your sadness?

Bring your answers to this episode of #TappyBreak. Let your sadness be fully expressed in the safe space of tapping that provides.

ON THE OTHER SIDE OF SADNESS IS JOY!

Let’s experience more joy individually and collectively for a happier world. It begins with you and me. 

 

How To Find Your Strength In Surrender

Surrender Charlie and Rose.jpegSurrender. Does it mean you give up or that you give in to the struggle, stop fighting, forcing and pushing against all odds? Does it mean that you are weak?  Can you find strength in surrender?

How do you know when its time to stop fighting the inevitability of an end and surrender or keep pushing hoping things will change?

Faith. Having faith in yourself and your own ability. Having faith in a power greater than you, whether you call it God, the universe, a higher power, or your higher self.

Knowing that you have done all you can and trusting its time to let go are learned from experience and also by tuning into an inner wisdom – your intuition. It’s a sign of strength to surrender and let go of something that is not serving your highest good, or cannot continue the way that it is.

Letting go to control and allowing something greater than you to come in – that is surrender and peace.

Here’s a beautiful example of surrender from the movie, “The African Queen” starring Katherine Hepburn as Rose Sayer, and Humphrey Bogart as Charlie Allnut. After many insurmountable odds of pushing through, having faith, using all their strength, determination and commitment, they realize they have reached the end.

The African Queen, the boat, is stuck deeply in mud, and there is no hope. There is no more that Charlie can do, and he knows it. He is spent. He has nothing left in him. Rosie attempts to encourage him, offer him hope, to which he replies, “ Rosie, you know it’s over, don’t you?”

“Yes, Charlie, I know.”

Then Rose prays. She did not pray for help to save them in this mess or fix the situation, but for mercy at the gates of heaven. She asked that they be greeted in the afterlife with love and forgiveness for their mistakes and recognition for doing all that they could.

She lay next to Charlie and slept peacefully, knowing they had done all that they could do. She did not berate herself for failing. She did not blame Charlie for giving up. She did not direct anger at God for letting her down. Rose surrendered to the situation with peace and gratitude for coming as far as they had – for saying “yes” to her mission.

In life and in our business, we often see our failures, and neglect to see the value in what we have done. Yet successful and happy people know the power of surrender and recognize when its time to lie down in peace knowing they’ve gone as far as they can in a particular venture. They don’t berate themselves or wallow in pity and anger at failing. They wake up and begin again. Each day is a new opportunity to reach new heights, commit to a mission and recalibrate their vision when necessary.

Surrender is not giving up. It is entering a state of grace, acceptance and gratitude for having come this far, and allowing God or spirit to assist you in continuing on this path or directing you toward another.

So what happened in the movie? While Charlie and Rose slept, the rains came down hard and heavy, lifting their boat out of the mud and into the river. They had surrendered, but they had not given up.

Of course, it’s only a movie and anything can happen in a movie. Yet the same is true for life – anything is possible if you allow it to be so.

So where in your life or business can you surrender to allow for the guidance, flow and support of the universe to direct you toward a path of success?

Where can you let go of resentment, blame, anger, and disappointment to feel peace and gratitude for how far you have come, not to give up but to surrender to the guidance and support for your next steps?

What To Do When You Can’t Fall Asleep

TB sleeplessIt’s 2am, and you are wide-awake. You don’t want to be. You are tired. You want to sleep. You are starting to feel stressed because you are awake, and you know that you will be so tired in the morning. Your mind is racing with all the things that you did not get done today and the endless amount of tasks in front of you.

Maybe you should just get up and do them. What, you don’t want to do the now? Then stop thinking about them. You can’t? That’s totally frustrating.

I know!

Here’s the conversation I used have in my head when lying awake in the middle of the night and I couldn’t sleep.

“I am so tired. My body needs rest. I need to sleep. Why am I awake? I have so much to do. Maybe I should just get up. I don’t want to get up. I want to sleep. I’ll breathe and count myself back to sleep. Shoot. I forgot about that. I have to remember to do that. Breathe, relax, and breathe. Another great idea appears. Now my mind is racing with excitement. Breathe, relax, and breathe. Then another thought pops in and my mind is off again. I may as well just get up. NO. I want to sleep. Breathe, relax, breathe.”

After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, I would finally get up and write, then finally about an hour before I have to be up for the day, I would sink into a deep sleep. It wasn’t pretty or pleasant.

What’s the dialogue in your head when you wake up in the middle of the night? What keeps you awake? Is it worry, planning, criticizing, pain, ideas being generated at lightening speed?

Would you like to try something else? Something that will help you fall back to sleep easily? So many people have asked me to created a tapping video to help them fall asleep, so here it is.

Today we are tapping on this very issue in #TappyBreak – I am wide-awake and I can’t fall back to sleep.

After today you won’t have that problem anymore.

So join me for #tappybreak – who knows, just doing the tapping today may take care of the middle of the night wake up calls and if it doesn’t you will have the video next time so you know what to do when you can’t fall asleep.

Be part of the conversation on the event page. http://ow.ly/KwQsb

Post your questions, comments, ideas on the Event Page BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER the live show. It’s a really great way to connect to others in the community, receive answers and deepen relationships.

If this helped you, please share it!

Previous Episodes For access to the full library on YouTube, http://ow.ly/EssFV

8 Questions to Help You Move Past Regret

regrets lessons learnedEveryone has done something they wish they had not or had done differently. Conversely, everyone has wishes that they had done things they did not. Mistakes are a part of life. You do the best you can with who are at the time. Yet many people get stuck in the quagmire of regret and remorse.

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.” ~ Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

In this post and episode of #TappyBreak, we explore if regret is holding you hostage or holding you back in your life and in your business.

We all have regrets in our life. However, living with regrets keeps you stuck in repetitive loops. The more that you focus on what you regret, the more you continue the behavior and choices that reinforce your sense of regret.

So you must learn from the regret so that you can choose differently with direction and guidance for today and the future. Look at the situation as a learning lesson and move on. You are human, not a machine. No one is perfect and perfection does not exist.

You must also learn to forgive your failings, shortcomings, and decisions. Beating yourself up and wishing you had a do-over do not help you let it go and learn from it.

An area where regret stopped me for many years was as a parent. There was a period of time where I made so many choices that did not support how I wanted to be as a mother. The more I lived with that regret, the more I continued the pattern of making choices that caused me to feel even more regret. It was a vicious cycle until I saw the underlying cause of my choices and regret and cleared the energy and decided to make changes that were more supportive of my intentions.

Several years ago, I was involved in a coaching program. It was a lot of money. It was a big decision and I chose do the program believing I would make the money back, so I used money for this program instead of paying off debt I had incurred for my children to attend college. I did not make the money back and I also learned many valuable lessons by participating in that program. Yet, I spent years regretting that I had made that choice to the detriment of my health and business.

It took quite a bit of tapping, soul searching, forgiveness and understanding to move past the remorse I felt as well as many other emotions (another post.) I realized that I was totally devaluing my intuition, my beliefs and myself continuing down the path of regret.

I finally honored the choice that I made because at the time I truly believed it was the right thing for me to do. And the truth is I learned so much. I learned even more when I let of the regret. I learned that it was another area of my life where I was giving my power away. I learned that I had ignored my intuition over and over again. I learned that I had received some much needed healing and training for my own healing gifts. I learned that the business I thought I wanted to build was not really my truth. I learned what I was and what I was not willing to do. I learned to take what I needed from that program and trust my own inner guidance to fill the gap. I learned to appreciate myself for the courage and energy I put into that year. I learned that these were all gifts.

I share this with you so that you can look at an area where you are holding onto regret and choose to see the lesson and the gifts instead of the blame and the shame.

You may absolutely know where you are hanging onto regret like a person who is drowning holds onto their rescuer. You may not have a clue if you feel regret.

So let’s explore if you are harboring regret. Go deep and allow all that needs to be released to show up for you, and we will tap away those regrets once and for all in this episode of #TappyBreak

Here are some clues to look for: You often think or say:

If only things were different…

I should have…

I wish…

If only…

I should have…

I shouldn’t have…

I could have…

Here are some questions to help you. Sit down with a journal or at your computer and answer the following questions honestly.

  1. What do you most regret?
  2. How is this affecting your life now?
  3. What happens in your body when you think of this experience or event?
  4. Is your regret directed toward yourself or someone else?
  5. Do you regret a missed opportunity?
  6. What do you wish you could do again – differently this time?
  7. How does that make you feel? Where do you feel it in your body?
  8. What have you learned from this experience? 

Now that you have some answers and direction, tap with me in this episode of #TappyBreak so that you can release and let go of the energy of regret that is not letting you create, manifest and enjoy all that you envision and desire for your personal and professional success.

For access to the full library of previous epidoses on YouTube, http://ow.ly/EssFV

 

 

Let Your Creative Juices Flow


i've discovered about creativity“To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong.” ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

I spent most of my life thinking that I did not have a creative bone in my body. I equated creativity with artistry. I will never paint a masterpiece. My crafting abilities are minimal and elementary. I wanted to be perfect and nothing I did was perfect. I also realize that I equated creativity with shame. Wow, this is a new revelation that came with this writing.

My parents were creative in our homes. I had milk crates to support my mattress. My father built a desk for me by using a counter from a convenience store that was being thrown away. At the time I thought it was pretty cool, but I later felt such shame that we didn’t have the money to buy a proper bed or desk. So at some point I associated creativity with lack of money. You had to be creative when you didn’t have money to buy the things you needed and wanted. I can see now how that shaped my views about money and creativity in ways I had not recognized.

It’s only been very recently that I realized how creative I actually am and have been my whole life. Growing up, I lived in my imagination because it was a better place to be, and that fed my creativity.

I see how my creativity comes through cooking, writing, engaging with children, decorating, making picture books, and teaching. I have been so creative in building a business that is very unconventional and my creative juices flow when I am working – coaching, mentoring, healing, teaching, speaking and tapping.

“When we engage in what we are naturally suited to do, our work takes on the quality of play and it is play that stimulates creativity.” –  Linda Naiman

Here’s what I have discovered about letting your creative juices flow freely. It’s tough to be creative when you are always doing, thinking, striving, proving, and fearing and trying to be perfect and in control. You need time to imagine, be still, move freely, breathe in fresh air, play, paint, color, sing, dance, laugh, love. You cannot force it. You coax it, woo it, encourage it, and tap into source and allow your creativity to flow.

“Creative people are curious, flexible, persistent, and independent with a tremendous spirit of adventure & a love of play.” ~ Henri Matisse

As I reflect on my life, I clearly see that I was the most creative when I was in environments when I felt safe to express myself honestly without fear of judgment or criticism. Some environments foster and encourage creativity more than others. Some dampen it.

My favorite experience in the corporate world was working for a small company owned by Australians. I excelled at HUON. It’s funny because it’s only been the past few years that I realized how creative I was in that company. People thought it was odd that I wanted to work in accounting because they told me I was so creative. I just laughed and did not see it. Now I do.

I created an online expense in the mid 90’s using excel that converted currencies from Canada, Australian, England and US. Wow, did it make my job easier than the papers that were mailed to me, or dropped off on my desk. That may not seem like much to you today, but back then it was big. That’s just one example of working in an accounting space where my left and right brains merged beautifully. I created so much change and grew with that company.

“The desire to create is one of the deepest yearnings of the human soul” ~ Elder Uchtdorf

  • What is your creative outlet?
  • Do you give yourself space and time to create?
  • Are you stuck in thinking what creativity actually looks like?
  • Can you recognize where and how you are creative?

I am super excited about this episode of #tappybreak. Creativity feeds the soul, changes the world, and fosters joy. Let’s tap away anything that is keeping your creative juices frozen instead of flowing.

“There is no doubt that creativity is the most important human resource of all. Without creativity, there would be no progress, and we would be forever repeating the same patterns.” — Edward de Bono

Be part of the conversation on the event page. http://ow.ly/JV0mb

Post your questions, comments, ideas on the Event Page BEFORE, DURING, and AFTER the live show. It’s a really great way to connect to others in the community, receive answers and deepen relationships.

 

Previous Episodes:

For access to the full library on YouTube, http://ow.ly/EssFV

 

2/26/2015          How To Tap Into the Energy of Receiving – http://ow.ly/JBrOB

2/19/2015 – Stop the Self-Sabotage Cycle –          http://ow.ly/JBoBH

2/12/2015         Sometimes I Feel Like a Fraud         http://ow.ly/IM7sN

1/29/2015         Self Promotion is Hard To Do         http://ow.ly/I2GQe

1/22/2015         Unleash Your Hidden Leader         http://ow.ly/I2pay

1/15/2015         Why Is So Hard To Ask For Help?         http://ow.ly/I2pxo

1/8/2015         Get Real With Your Resolutions         http://ow.ly/I2dyd

12/25/2014         How To Manage and Reduce Stress         http://ow.ly/I2cOp

12/18/2014         Learn to Love Your Numbers         http://ow.ly/FT8Zm

12/11/2014         I Don’t Really Love Networking         http://ow.ly/FT2Us

12/4/2014         I Did Everything Right, So What Went Wrong?         http://ow.ly/FbVbX

11/27/2014         It’s Not Easy to Be Thankful         http://ow.ly/EXbX5

11/20/2014         When Is It My Turn?!         http://ow.ly/EpVUS

11/13/2014         Quiet Your Critical Voice         http://ow.ly/E915W

11/6/2014         Release Your Hidden Fear Around Money         http://ow.ly/Fy3uy

10/30/2014         Move from Disappoint to Confidence         http://youtu.be/McysuSVRwfc

10/23/2014         Setting Healthy Boundaries         http://ow.ly/ENb2N

10/16/2014         Releasing Fear of Financial Abundance         http://youtu.be/mDEaYwlPQTE

10/9/2014         Stepping in to Your Entrepreneur Shoes         http://youtu.be/N3ANtVAJoO4

9/25/2014         Profit is Not a Shameful Word         http://youtu.be/StpUI_FbN9Y

9/18/2014         Do You Really Need to Work So Hard         http://youtu.be/ODXs4yzPhz4

9/11/2014         Stop Feeling Guilty About Success         http://youtu.be/yme7tgXKjkU

9/4/2014         Letting Go of Guilt         http://youtu.be/pEEZCv_HnFY

8/28/2014         The Power of Release         http://youtu.be/oYFHiFkUf7k

8/21/2014         Dwell in Contentment         http://youtu.be/SmxqMY3Tqhs

8/14/2014         Tapping Away Disappointment         http://youtu.be/0Kss8A-BT4c

 

For your free short audio mediations to Start Your Day With Success, visit cherivalentine.com/success.

 

How to Tap Into the Energy of Receiving

energyWhy is it so difficult for many to receive support, help, advice, gifts, love, happiness, and abundance? Everyone wants these things, often complain about not having them, and yet refuse to allow it when offered.

How many times have you declined an offer for help, thinking it’s easier to do it yourself, they won’t get it right, you don’t have time to explain what you need, or you are just simply uncomfortable saying yes.

Ironically, the ones who are most willing to give until it hurts, are also the ones who refuse to ask for or accept support.

Such a conundrum, isn’t it?

For many women, there is this driving need to do it on their own, be fiercely independent, and be in complete and total control. This is counterintuitive to the feminine energy of receiving. It is loaded with the masculine energy of doing, proving, defending.

The masculine and the feminine energies are meant to work together. There is a divine union and flow that is meant to create harmony and perfection. Yet, so many women and men are overloaded in one or the other and haven’t learned to allow both energies to work in their favor.

So many of my clients struggle with this challenge to slow down, relax, and enjoy all the support they have. This also stops them from receiving and appreciating all that the universe has for them.

Does this describe you?

Although we tend to view this as a struggle specific to women, I have seen it with men too.

Receptivity begins within your own heart and mind. I have said it many times before and will say it many times more. Everything starts with you.  Self-questioning can be so powerful in discovering what keeps you from receiving with grace and ease.

  • Where in your life can you begin to simply receive the bountiful gifts of nature or the simple pleasures that feed your soul?
  • Who is available to lend you a helping hand? Are you willing to ask for the support that you need?
  • Have you asked the angels and guides who are more than willing to act on your behalf if you only ask them?
  • Can you easily and graciously just say, “thank you,” to compliments?

There are many reasons why we struggle to receive. It has not been a quality that was taught or validated in many families, cultures and societies. So, you have to break through a tribal mentality, crack the code, and create your own validation and acceptance – acceptance is a quality of receptivity.

So is surrender – ouch – such a scary and misunderstood word. To me surrender means relaxing control, and releasing whatever keeps you from not trusting or allowing something into your life.  Surrender means to relinquish the need to force or make things happen or to be a lone ranger.

You have the choice and the right to question what you have learned and believe, then to either accept it as your truth or challenge it.  Then decide what is true and right for you.  You are accepting you.

Acceptance, surrender and receptivity make us vulnerable – and that is the scariest thing of all for so many.  Many of your experiences may have left you feeling vulnerable in a weak and fearful way if you expose your heart, your desires, and your needs. However, by healing those past hurts you create a healthy space to allow others to give to you. You give them the gift when  you receive.  It’s a lovely reciprocal relationship.

Are you ready to experience how the energy of receiving can help you experience harmony and bliss?

If so, join me for this episode of #TappyBreak, where we will silence the self-sabotaging beliefs that keep you from opening your heart and your arms to receiving all the love, support, abundance and joy that is yours for the taking.

8 Ways To Stop the Self-Sabotage Cycle


sabotageWhat exactly is self-sabotage, how do you recognize it, and what do you do about it?

Let’s explore these 3 questions.

Self-sabotage is a behavior that interrupts, interferes or blocks you from doing something that is of benefit to you or something that you want.

Here are just a few examples:

  •  You want to write a book, yet every day when it’s time to write, you do something else instead.
  • You have a program to fill and avoid marketing it or making the calls to interested and potential candidates.
  • You want to experience more vibrant health, yet resist changing your diet or lifestyle to help with this goal.

There are many factors that contribute to self-sabotage.

Fear – fear of success and fear of failure. Fear to get started, fear it won’t turn out the way you want. Fear. Fear. Fear – there is no end to what causes fear.

Doubt – doubt you can do it, doubt you will be supported, doubt that your family, friends, colleagues, etc will accept it.

Change – you are comfortable with the way things are, you have to let some things go, embrace something new, you don’t like change.

Lack of Focus – not being clear on what you really want or on the outcome you desire, having too many things to do and not prioritizing, not putting enough attention on something, not setting clear intentions and goals, feeling overwhelmed and anxious.

The list is endless of what contributes to self-sabotage.

At the very basic core of it though, I believe it is shame and not feeling that you deserve it.

This is often very unconscious and not something you would easily identify, yet I see it every day in my clients, and in myself.

Here are 8 ways to move out of self-sabotage.

  1. The first step in anything is awareness. Identify where you are not acting on things that are important to you or are avoiding taking the steps needed for a desired outcome.
  2. Question if this is something that you really want. Maybe it’s not. It might be a “should,” and you don’t really want to do it. Why is that? It might be that you do want it, yet it’s fear, doubt, or someone else’s judgment that is keeping you from embracing it. It might be that you really don’t want this, and it’s someone else’s desire for you. Getting to your truth is key.
  3. If you determine that this is something that you really do want and it is your truth, then put a clear intention in place of what you want to achieve. Create clear and measurable goals. Envision how it feels to be taking the steps toward it. Feel how wonderful it is to enjoy the result. Take consistent action, and build the muscle of accomplishment. Focus your attention fully and be present with your dream, desire, and each step of fulfillment. Tune into to your why and let that fuel you.
  4. Affirm daily who you are being and what you are creating. State it in the present tense  “I am” statements are so powerful. Connect the feeling of its truth. Activate the vibration of attraction with both your words and your feelings.
  5. Do the internal clearing that contributes to you being able to do the above steps. I love using energy healing, intuitive reading, journaling, meditation, journeying, channeling our younger self, older wise self, and future self, past life regressions, soul retrieval, matrix re-imprinting, future progressions, and tapping. I use them all and share them all with my clients.
  6. Work the conscious with the unconscious. Be conscious in your desires, thoughts, word and actions. Be present in your desires, thoughts, words, and actions; yet be aware that your unconscious is fueling the conscious so you must work them together.
  7. Allow spirit and intuition to guide you. Learn to listen to your whispers of truth. Access the feeling place within you, give it attention, acknowledge it and then reframe it.
  8. JOIN ME FOR #TAPPYBREAK. Every week is a new topic. Each episode will help clear an aspect of what contributes to self -sabotage, limiting beliefs, and feeling undeserving.

In this #TappyBreak video, we specifically tackle self-sabotaging or self-defeating thoughts, words, actions and feelings. Isn’t time for you release what’s holding you back from stepping up and being seen and heard in all your glory?

You can access  the full library of TappyBreak videos on  YouTube:  http://ow.ly/EssFV

For your free short audio mediations to Start Your Day With Success, visit cherivalentine.com/success.

 

Love Is Everywhere – Even In Business

choose to be your authentic selfI was inspired by Sharon Jenkin’s post, “What Does Love Have to Do with Business? Everything …” As a former relationship coach who helped disappointed singles find love, and someone whose name is Cheri Valentine – I love LOVE. Yet, in all honestly I never imagined myself as being a Love Coach, although that’s how my friends and colleagues referred to me.

Here’s why. To me it was never about finding love outside yourself (although for 2 of my 3 marriages, that’s what I thought it was.) It was about getting it right. I had a vision in my mind about what love and relationships could be (should be.) I also wanted to “get it right” so my children would know it and emulate it.

Since I did get the “love and relationship” thing figured out, I helped hundreds figure it out for themselves. I was grateful for that. When they got it figured out, then they modeled that for their children and so on, and so on.

Yet, something inside kept gnawing at me. This wasn’t it. This wasn’t the “it” I knew I was always meant to do. So I followed the signs and the lead of my clients who showed up at my door. I have always loved my clients, and when I didn’t, I went within to discover why which led to my own growth and shifting of clients who reflected the internal vibration of me.

It was this love of my clients that has helped me to evolve and grow as a mother, wife, grandmother and entrepreneur. In the reflections of my newer clients I saw leaders, entrepreneurs, creative minds, and courageous souls.

I saw individuals who wanted love and began to find it within their own hearts. This gave them the courage to question, break rules, and forge their own path and step into their leadership shoes.

They embraced love and in so doing began to:

Love their business and their life.

Love the adventure of it all.

Love their clients.

Love their support team.

Love. Love. Love.

Because they loved, their business grew and so did their happiness.

It’s not always easy, especially if the lessons of love you learned taught you not to trust, or rely on anyone, or to expect disappointment. If that was your love lesson, then as an entrepreneur, a leader, a visionary, you have a handicap that can keep you from all the love your business and your clients deserve.

So please, do the inner work so that your outer life can match the inner vibration of trust, integrity, confidence, support, and success.   Now, that’s love and it has everything to do with success and creative leadership.

If you want to really know who Cheri Valentine is, you can watch this video. At 10 minutes in I tell Dennis M. Duce  and Nicole Levac who I am and why – words that surprised even me (it has to do with love.)

Shamanic Healer and EFT Specialist, Cheri provides healing, coaching, mentoring and mastermind services to help entrepreneurs and leaders amplify their innate wisdom, confidence and success in their personal and professional lives.

For your free short audio mediations to Start Your Day With Success, visit cherivalentine.com/success

The Value of Recognition

RecognitionRecognition is one of the basic human needs. Yet so many leaders miss a major opportunity to connect with their community through recognition.

In an article by Sharon Jenkins, she states, “A creative entrepreneur is someone who wishes to chart their own pathway to business success. Their business vision encompasses more than achieving a capital gain but also making a real difference in the world, nation, city, community or neighborhood that they do business in.”

I would add to this that one way to make a difference is to recognize the people you lead, the people in your community, and your clients and customers. Acknowledge their strengths and contributions. Express gratitude to them.

Robb Braun, in his post It Begins With Mastering Our Communications, says “…communications done right that facilitates solid problem solving, course correction without conflict, a spirit of belonging, and the genuine expression of a job well done. Good, solid, effective communications can make all the difference, even if other things aren’t going so well.”

When your communication is infused with loving kindness, you will establish a positive environment for your community to flourish. You will more easily recognize where clearer communication is necessary, or a different approach may be needed. Recognition is an important element to effective and positive communication in any environment, whether personal or in business.

“Influencing others is one of the most important leadership skills you can possess,” states Kathy Garland in her post on 5 Skills You Need for Success.  I agree with this. What a more positive way to influence others than by recognizing them for their wisdom, gifts, insights, and the value that they add to your life, business and vision.

I joined Nicole Levac, Dennis N. Duce, Kristin Drysdale, Katrina Pfannuch, and Jamie McConochie for a Network Round Table Discussion of the Importance of Recognition, especially in an online world. Let me tell you there was a whole bunch of AWESOMENESS in this panel. I feel truly blessed being invited by Nicole to participate. I am so grateful that she recognized that I must be part of that discussion. I didn’t quite understand myself until after the show. I realized that what I do is help leaders to recognize their own greatness.

We loved and answered these great questions posed by the audience watching the live discussion.

  • How can we possibly appease everyone while maintaining a “politically correct” balance?
  • How does recognition for false “personas” affect a person’s true need for the recognition they want/need? 
  • What about those that don’t want the recognition – want to be in the background? Is it still a need/must have?

We also answered the following questions posed by our panel host extraordinaire, Katrina.

  • Recognition is one of the basic human needs. Why do you think people struggle with recognition – personally and/or professionally?
  • What are some simple ways a person can explore recognizing their own value?
  • How do expectations impact our ability to accept and honor recognition from others or offer recognition to others?

I learned as much from this lively, spiritual, interactive conversation as I shared from my perspective. Let me know what you think!

How To Get Over the Discomfort of Self Promotion

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You are a business owner. You provide products and services that light the world on fire in a very positive, empowering and healing way. You help leaders, healers, children, writers, teachers, parent and/or _______(fill in the blank for you)  step up their game, shine their light, and contribute their unique gifts to help others.

So why don’t we know about you?  If what you offer is the best kept secret, what’s the point? I know, I know. You’ve been taught it’s impolite to brag. You don’t want to appear narcissistic. It’s rude to draw attention to yourself and blah, blah, blah.

Don’t you think it’s time to ditch those outdated and imposed beliefs? Where did you learn them anyway AND how’s that working for you?

I get it. No one enjoys being around obnoxious braggarts who are full of themselves. Yet, what if there was another way to promote yourself that was not so discomforting? What if you could express your gifts in a way that was inviting to others who really need what you offer?

THERE IS, and if you are willing to release the limits and beliefs that have stopped you from singing your praises in an authentic and inviting way, then join me for #TappyBreak.

You will identify the source of your discomfort of self promotion and heal it. Then you will embrace another perspective that allows you to freely express who you are and what you help people do.

#TappyBreak was created to addresses the challenges of being an entrepreneur, unleash your inner leader, blast through the blocks that keep you from trusting your inner knowing and moving forward with grace and ease.

Every week Cheri leads you through a quick 15 minute tapping session addressing such issues as procrastination, writing blocks, overwhelm, control, speaking phobia, family loyalty, money blocks, and many other challenging areas that may be keeping you from having the success, happiness, or results that you desire.  You have a voice, a mission and a passion.  Don’t let unconscious and limiting stories keep you from sharing it fully and receiving all the abundance that comes with it.

By combining a light tapping on acupressure points while talking, you can move past the emotional and unconscious blocks that are creating your current results. When you tap on an issue often the underlying or unconscious triggers will surface so that you can acknowledge, express and release the charge or the power it has so that you can move into expansion and grow that huge vision you are holding for yourself and the world.

For the full library of #TappyBreak videos, click here. 

For your free short audio mediations to Start Your Day With Success, visit cherivalentine.com/success.

 

 

The Collaborative Energy of Effective Leadership

?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????Why is leadership important? Someone has to lead the way, set the tone, provide the focus, have the vision, communicate the vision, and gather the right team to bring the vision, intentions, and goals to life and manifestation.

Leadership to me is collaborative.

Yet, I often thought of a leader as the one at the top who shone like a lonely star in the dark night sky.  I thought leaders existed in kingdoms or corporations. It was obvious who the leaders were and that wasn’t me. For some reason, I never saw myself as a leader and yet when I reflect on the many layers and experiences of my life, I’ve been leading since my first marriage, actually since high school and probably even before then.

We are all leaders in our own way. So let’s explore the different areas of leadership.

On the personal side, someone leads a household. Either one or both parents set the tone, the rules, and the expectations. They model how leadership is done for their children, yet not all are good or even great leaders. Some lead with tyranny or an iron fist, controlling and stifling creativity and thought leadership in their children.

However, the parents who grow effective and creative leaders run their homes with love and compassion providing safe and predictable boundaries. They communicate clear expectations, and allow their children the freedom to explore, create, make mistakes, evaluate and change course. They provide a strong foundation, rudder and support. Parents who ask open-ended questions and listen with patience and not criticism teach their children how to discover their own answers and greatness. These children then become successful leaders in their respective endeavors

Coaches and teaches are leaders. They are responsible for specific outcomes and their style of running their teams and classes very much affect the results that students have.

Managers and supervisors are leaders, whether in retail, small business or corporate America. Storeowners are leaders. Solopreneurs and entrepreneurs are most definitely leaders and if they haven’t figured that out yet, it’s time to start!

The challenge is that not everyone sees their inner leader, nurtures it or takes responsibility for it. Leaders are not just the ones at the top. Everyone is a leader in some capacity.

So what kind of leader are you?

  • Do you find the balance between setting the course with a solid foundation and allowing the contribution from everyone involved?
  • Do you micromanage and control every aspect of what you are leading or do you encourage and allow everyone involved take responsibility and ownership for their contribution?
  • Do you trust that you’ve gathered a cohesive team who connects to a common vision and each separate contribution creates the collective whole?
  • Are you open to growth, change, expansion, and learning?
  • Do you instill resentment, apathy, and indifference by your attitude and actions as a leader or do you hold space for your vision and your team to grow and perform in a positive and supportive environment?

When I look at my own experiences, the places where I have excelled an contributed and produced my best is when led by someone who saw my potential, gave me space to run with my ideas and encouraged me to do so, who treated me with respect and expressed gratitude.

Whether teachers, employers, or colleagues I excelled and performed with dedication, creativity and commitment to those who led with the collaborative spirit of creative leadership.

So where in your life do you lead? You may feel you have to control every aspect of your business, project, team or family. This is not leadership. This is tyranny. It does not foster or encourage creative success. You may need to undo some outdated beliefs you incurred in your life from bad leadership whether from parents, teachers, coaches, or employers. Unconsciously you may be storing experiences, emotions, and memories that feed mistrust or control issues. You may expect that people will disappoint you, that you have to do it yourself for it to get done “right” and you believe there is only one right way. Would you benefit from support or guidance in learning how to lead more creatively?

In a prior post, I described qualities of creative and successful leaders. I also created a video to help unleash your hidden leader. My colleague, Robb Braun, a Success Strategist, wrote a great post on the responsibility of leadership. Kathy Garland, who inspires visionary leaders, described 3 qualities to strengthen the leader in you. Sharon Jenkins also posted this informative piece on emerging leadership.

If how you are leading is working for you, carry on If not, we should talk.